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lenny3 's review for:
My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry
by Fredrik Backman
4.5 - might become a 5 it is sticks with me much longer
“Nothing scares idiots more than a smart girl” (chap 5)
“Never mess with someone who has more spare time than you do.” (Chap 19)
Although never explicitly stated, I think it is pretty safe to assume that Elsa falls somewhere on the spectrum, and while I normally prefer this type of representation to be explicitly stated (in order to be promoted for visibility), there is something about the way Backman has presented it here that works so well. Combined with the fact that, statistically, girls are less likely to have a formal diagnosis until latter in life (if at all) for ASD, and the careful way it has been woven into the narrative, I think this achieves a certain level of visibility without becoming alienating to those whose symptoms do not present in a similar way to Elsa. Be that as it may, I have no authority on this, and can not speak to the accuracy of the representation.
The Headmasters protection and promotion of toxic masculinity is unfortunately so accurate – “boys will be boys”, “boyish lark”, “just what boys’ do” is not an explanation or rationality for problematic behavior. The fact that it extends to, essentially, victim blaming (Elsa ‘must have provoked’ the boy into hitting her) and not uncovering the root of harassment and bullying is horribly common. Sometimes children are just plain cruel. But, also, often it is learnt or systemically modeled behavior that gets, at best, excused, at worst, defended and praised. The scene in the Principals office has such a strong impact because of how simplistically realistic it is. Which is what makes it so heartbreaking.
The characters have been allowed to be complex and layered, having their best and worst qualities on display, so they feel real and tangible. Even the majority of the side characters never feel reduced to stereotypes or plot devices. Characters do not have to be likable to be heroes – their flaws are really what makes each and every one so memorable. This is another case where I am blow away by the delicate beauty of Backmans' writing, and the fact that it has retained the beauty through translation.
“Nothing scares idiots more than a smart girl” (chap 5)
“Never mess with someone who has more spare time than you do.” (Chap 19)
Although never explicitly stated, I think it is pretty safe to assume that Elsa falls somewhere on the spectrum, and while I normally prefer this type of representation to be explicitly stated (in order to be promoted for visibility), there is something about the way Backman has presented it here that works so well. Combined with the fact that, statistically, girls are less likely to have a formal diagnosis until latter in life (if at all) for ASD, and the careful way it has been woven into the narrative, I think this achieves a certain level of visibility without becoming alienating to those whose symptoms do not present in a similar way to Elsa. Be that as it may, I have no authority on this, and can not speak to the accuracy of the representation.
The Headmasters protection and promotion of toxic masculinity is unfortunately so accurate – “boys will be boys”, “boyish lark”, “just what boys’ do” is not an explanation or rationality for problematic behavior. The fact that it extends to, essentially, victim blaming (Elsa ‘must have provoked’ the boy into hitting her) and not uncovering the root of harassment and bullying is horribly common. Sometimes children are just plain cruel. But, also, often it is learnt or systemically modeled behavior that gets, at best, excused, at worst, defended and praised. The scene in the Principals office has such a strong impact because of how simplistically realistic it is. Which is what makes it so heartbreaking.
The characters have been allowed to be complex and layered, having their best and worst qualities on display, so they feel real and tangible. Even the majority of the side characters never feel reduced to stereotypes or plot devices. Characters do not have to be likable to be heroes – their flaws are really what makes each and every one so memorable. This is another case where I am blow away by the delicate beauty of Backmans' writing, and the fact that it has retained the beauty through translation.