I’m ace and my experience is an amalgamation of a lot of these stories; closely tracked to one or two in particular. This is why this is so valuable, I think. Since it emphasizes how large the ace spectrum is. This is a primer and not hyper specific, but to anyone picking it up, at least they get the separation between aesthetics, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction (and sex drive itself being completely separate). That’s a major step for most people.

Then, the framing is actually really instructive and decisive, which I appreciated. Rather than testimonials—for the most part—the author weaves together multiple stories in a cohesive way, which could have been a meandering mess otherwise. It still felt affirming and like good representation. And there were intersectional aspects I hadn’t considered, but made a lot of sense. Mostly surrounding people of colour interacting with the identity. It makes sense the space is so white, and makes further sense that perception and socialization make it far harder to codify selfhood, sexuality-wise and otherwise.

Now, can someone who read this book ask me where I personally am on the spectrum and when I say: ace flux, mostly grey, demisexual, with minor spikes—will they “get” what I’m saying? Probably 2/3 of it? That’s progress, in my book. Within that shorthand is a more granular conversation, but, as much as some people find it eye-roll worthy that these codification terms exist to this extent, I find them essential and useful in everyday life and this text puts some of that into the hands of anyone who wants to learn more about the sexuality, making it invaluable.