I went into this book with no knowledge of what was to come. That made the first few chapters confusing as the main character alternated between his absolutely mundane life in the suburbs to telling chapters about life on a strange pirate ship with a one-eyed captain and a one-eyed parrot. I thought that perhaps the main character was writing a story or telling it in his head and we'd find out later. But it was much more than that. The main character was experiencing delusions.

This story is a painful, difficult to read at times, exhausting journey through mental illness. The main character experiences multiple realities that all blend into one confusing conglomerate full of symbolism, anxiety, beauty, and personal strength. Schizoaffective disorder affects more people than we probably know because no one talks about it. We may have developed more humane treatments than imprisonment and asylum "hospitals" but we are often no kinder than our ancestors in how we treat those with mental illness. This story brings a face and a personality to mental disorder and I was left with such an empathy and compassion for the main character. His diagnosis will never go away and he will always feel both muted and at risk of relapsing into his visions again, but he is also not without hope.

It's a beautiful story because it is a difficult one.