AUGHHH this had such a strong start, I was so invested in the story, the paranormal mystery, the tangible grief, but…I feel let down by the ending!😭 For a different reason than most of the negative reviews.

(Disclaimer!: If you know my other reviews with trans characters, I usually refer to them with the pronouns they’re using by the end of the story. But because that is meant to be a surprise to the reader in “Too Bright To See”, I will only be using they/them pronouns for Bug. I do not feel comfortable using she/her.)

I’ll start off by saying that the trans rep in this book was spectacular. Although my experiences growing up as a transmasc kid weren’t the same(I had more girly interests than Bug, it took me longer to realize that didn’t make me inherently female lol), some of Bug’s internal monologue brought me back to some memories of growing up and not realizing I was trans. The disconnect with your self and body(oh god, especially before or around puberty) that is really just different kinds of gender dysphoria was written about so well!! And sidenote, but not really: I’m glad the issues in Moira and Bug’s friendship were brought up in the end of the book. Surprised at how neatly they were dealt with, though. (The ending in general wraps all the plot points and arcs up very tidily…it’s both a good and bad thing.)

I also appreciated the more emotional approach to a ghost story!! Bug and their mom’s grief felt so real, as someone living in a household that’s been shaped by grief. (Although, I was surprised Bug didn’t experience a second kind of grief after Rodrick’s ghost was done communicating with them. They really only talk about how Rodrick wasn’t “gone” for them like he was for their mom.) It especially worked with the writing style, which although it could feel a little too young at times, still balanced feeling like something you’d find in a kid’s journal entries(that just has to do with the depth of Bug’s emotion, not the formatting of the book. It’s not in entries), and still maintaining the craft of an adult writer.

But there was so much setup for Rodrick’s messages, and the mystery behind them, that I was expecting for there to be some other thing for Bug to figure out?? The reveal left me underwhelmed, and left the plot feeling kind of convoluted as a result. I think the summary gave away too much.

I’m bitter that I didn’t enjoy this more tbh. I cried several times reading 3/4ths of this book because the story hit home; I’m dealing with monumental loss in my life as well, and I’m also transgender (and realized it when I was only a little older than Bug was). BUT. This book doesn’t deserve the negative reviews of thinly-veiled transphobia it’s gotten. I know it’s nothing new to say a queer book for kids is indoctrination, it’s a common form of bigotry, but it still makes me angry to see people on Goodreads ignore or be oblivious to different part’s of Bug’s thought process and discomfort in favor of their argument. 😑 (they…do realize that Bug frequently thinks over the course of the book that being seen as a girl, not just girly, is uncomfortable, and once they’re able to start living as another gender they start considering the possibility of different things that once made them uncomfortable—like wearing nail polish and having crushes—once there’s not girlhood being imposed onto them??)

4.5 stars rounded down to 4.

I enjoyed this book a lot and connected to Bug even though nothing in the book is similar to my own experiences. I was a little thrown by the ghostly/supernatural element, not sure at first if this was intended to be really real or a trick of the mind, a desire to see more than what was there. I will say that it is real and I think you have to buy into that to enjoy the book. Easy for me to do.

I checked the reviews of others before I wrote my own and I noted that some doubted that Bug could be so blind to his own gender identity or fear reprisals so deeply when he was a part of such an open and supportive family. Bug is eleven. <i>Eleven</i>. People grow and change and understand themselves differently at every age. It doesn't matter how liberal, free, and loving the environment. We all come to our own conclusions in our own time. And I thought Bug's reasoning was sound, honestly, for an eleven year old trying to figure things out. Gender is a spectrum, but Bug thought he had to be absolutely, positively certain that he was a <i>he</i> to identify as trans. You don't. And once he got that, he understood what he needed to about himself. I don't think it's outrageous for anyone at any age to need time to change their understanding, but especially not an eleven year old.